But soon it became difficult for goats to look after their older goats. So they thought they would teach the monkeys to look after the older goats. They sent the monkeys on "Goading the Goat" courses and such. Enlightened monkeys came back and looked after goats happily. Jungle was cool. Then the first goat safety incident happened. It was a famous goat who gave up his goat, I mean ghost.
Monkeys were given new guidance on goat safety. Even a monkey could follow those protocols. They did. To the letter. Jungle was cool. But summer came. Apparently one monkey did not show enough compassion to an elderly, sorry, older, goat. Generic training was arranged for all monkeys on how to look compassionate. Most monkeys attended. Post course, Goats monitored monkeys. Scales of compassion were drawn up. The monkeys made faces. Compassionate faces. They screwed up their face this way, they screwed up their face that way. In short, they screwed it up. Jungle Times published cases of many goats still suffering apian abuse. League tables of compassion shocked the goat land. Frustrated at the end of the year Goats wrote to the Leopards, "This monkey business is not working. We need destructive reforms". The Leopards obliged. No monkey remained. Leopards offered to fill the void to provide goat care. Goats were jubilant. They bleated about new efficiencies. Some goats just said Bah! Leopards drew up jungle level agreement (JLA) with 40 pounds of milk per visit. Goats blogged about how timely LepCare would be. Advances in LepCare were tweeted and retweeted fiercely. But soon milk ran out. Goats suggested appraisal. Leopards planned on reprisal. Milk became blood. Goats gave in sheepishly. Leopards lived happily ever after.
Credits (in order of appearance)
Goat..played by Joe public
Monkeys..portrayed by Junior doctors
Leopards..given life to by "any private provider"
Jungle times editor..Doc Foster
Generic training for monkeys..provided on the NHS